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Sunday, March 24, 2013

The Time is Now

As I sit here in my warm bed with a cat keeping a watchful eye on me on this yet another grey chilly(isn't it supposed to be Spring yet??) day after spending the night at the emergency room hooked up to an IV glad to be home-it's the small stuff, you know? I have spent a lot of time thinking about mortality, and the unexpected changes that the Universe drops in our laps at a whim-just like that teacher you had that would ask you to answer a question when you weren't paying attention( don't even try to tell me you have never had one of those moments....)  This past month has been quite an eye opener in that department, and making me remember that life is fragile, fleeting, and to be embraced every moment. This past month started off with a family member in hospital, me having  respiratory infections that I just was not getting better from. A dear friends daughter needed surgery, a lot of people I know going through a lot of struggles. Trying to be present for them, my students, and self. The winter weather chilling us all inside and out, it was not a happy time. Kept on going, teaching classes, but feeling tired and weighed down. To quote a book I have read to my kids about winter..."the sky was grey, the roofs were grey, the whole city was grey.." pretty much sums up the mood.  Not surrendering or slowing down, though,  nope, not me. Those of you that know me personally know I am a fighter, and don't give up the ghost easily. Then the universe sent another curveball-my own daughter was hospitalized, stopped breathing, and was placed on a ventilator in guarded condition. At the same time I was denying that tired feeling for  how sick I was when I had no choice but to stop and see the doctor who ordered me to bed with strong meds for my lungs, I couldn't even visit her for two days. Interestingly enough in energetic medicine the lungs pertain to emotions and grief....hmmm. You can only imagine how I felt,  helpless and scared out of my wits.  ( She is out now  after the prayers of so many and western medical miracles, thank the Gods!) Life keeps on going, the planet revolves and the sun comes up although it seems like it is perpetually cloudy in more ways in one lately. But the writer at the helm of the grand design sent me my latest part and yesterday in excruciating pain, off to the emergency room to be a patient I went. Tests revealed a kidney infection, and a few other glitches and after intraveinous antibiotics I am enjoying the small pleasure of a purring cat by my side at home. Laying there in the hospital last night,  thinking and listening to the monitors again, the sounds of the elderly woman  all alone in the bed next to mine moaning in pain  and wondering what brought her and where was her family,  all the while  there was business as usual. We are so caught up in the wheel of life that we seldom stop and realize that in the next second that can change, possibly forever. We put things off, say we are busy, don't say the things we need to say, don't do the things that really need to be done like just be present and love one another. We fritter precious time away. We are all mortal, like it or not.  In this fast paced society we need to remember to make time. We just have the lease of this body and it's senses to experience the pleasures of each other and the beauty of this life on Earth, and when that cosmic screenwriter decides it's time to rewrite your script, you have no choice but to surrender to the grand design. Life is to be lived in the moment, not by putting things off or avoidance of those situations that make you uncomfortable. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and live your life the way you should- not limited by the past, not fearing the future and not thinking that there will always be enough time stop to smell the roses. Enjoy the blossoms and the thorns- they only bloom in your garden for a short time......the time is now.