The Time is Now

As I sit here in my warm bed with a cat keeping a watchful eye on me on this yet another grey chilly(isn't it supposed to be Spring yet??) day after spending the night at the emergency room hooked up to an IV glad to be home-it's the small stuff, you know? I have spent a lot of time thinking about mortality, and the unexpected changes that the Universe drops in our laps at a whim-just like that teacher you had that would ask you to answer a question when you weren't paying attention( don't even try to tell me you have never had one of those moments....)  This past month has been quite an eye opener in that department, and making me remember that life is fragile, fleeting, and to be embraced every moment. This past month started off with a family member in hospital, me having  respiratory infections that I just was not getting better from. A dear friends daughter needed surgery, a lot of people I know going through a lot of struggles. Trying to be present for them, my students, and self. The winter weather chilling us all inside and out, it was not a happy time. Kept on going, teaching classes, but feeling tired and weighed down. To quote a book I have read to my kids about winter..."the sky was grey, the roofs were grey, the whole city was grey.." pretty much sums up the mood.  Not surrendering or slowing down, though,  nope, not me. Those of you that know me personally know I am a fighter, and don't give up the ghost easily. Then the universe sent another curveball-my own daughter was hospitalized, stopped breathing, and was placed on a ventilator in guarded condition. At the same time I was denying that tired feeling for  how sick I was when I had no choice but to stop and see the doctor who ordered me to bed with strong meds for my lungs, I couldn't even visit her for two days. Interestingly enough in energetic medicine the lungs pertain to emotions and grief....hmmm. You can only imagine how I felt,  helpless and scared out of my wits.  ( She is out now  after the prayers of so many and western medical miracles, thank the Gods!) Life keeps on going, the planet revolves and the sun comes up although it seems like it is perpetually cloudy in more ways in one lately. But the writer at the helm of the grand design sent me my latest part and yesterday in excruciating pain, off to the emergency room to be a patient I went. Tests revealed a kidney infection, and a few other glitches and after intraveinous antibiotics I am enjoying the small pleasure of a purring cat by my side at home. Laying there in the hospital last night,  thinking and listening to the monitors again, the sounds of the elderly woman  all alone in the bed next to mine moaning in pain  and wondering what brought her and where was her family,  all the while  there was business as usual. We are so caught up in the wheel of life that we seldom stop and realize that in the next second that can change, possibly forever. We put things off, say we are busy, don't say the things we need to say, don't do the things that really need to be done like just be present and love one another. We fritter precious time away. We are all mortal, like it or not.  In this fast paced society we need to remember to make time. We just have the lease of this body and it's senses to experience the pleasures of each other and the beauty of this life on Earth, and when that cosmic screenwriter decides it's time to rewrite your script, you have no choice but to surrender to the grand design. Life is to be lived in the moment, not by putting things off or avoidance of those situations that make you uncomfortable. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and live your life the way you should- not limited by the past, not fearing the future and not thinking that there will always be enough time stop to smell the roses. Enjoy the blossoms and the thorns- they only bloom in your garden for a short time......the time is now.

A Box of Chocolates

With the day of St. Valentine behind us,  the candy wrappers strewn about, the roses wilting from your special day, I have been contemplating relationships. How can you not with the mass media blitz to buy your sweetie just the right thing ( the 3 deep line around the roses in Whole Foods says a lot!) so that they can coo and gush to all their friends about how thoughtful you were and all will be right in the Kingdom of Happily Ever After. Look through rose colored glasses much? Relationships, to borrow and ad lib from the iconic Forest Gump-" are like a box of chocolates, you just never know what you're gonna get." Understated and so true. When you consider stepping into that interaction between two human beings, it is just like looking at that beautifully wrapped box of sweetness, full of anticipation, but to get to the contents you have to unwrap and open the box. There you are met with many options, some are just delicious,  some are gooey, some are chewy, some are hard, and some leave you with a downright awful taste in your mouth. Relationships pretty much have the same characteristics, but in order to fully appreciate their potential, you have to dive in and take that bite, maybe it's exactly what you were hoping for, maybe it's not. But there is always that special sweet in the middle of the box, and that is the always the best tasting- much like  the relationship with the self. In order to be able to be fully present in any relationship, you have to have a loving relationship with yourself. And this is not always easy for us, sometimes there is fear of unwrapping and getting to the center- that others won't like our real flavor, so it's better to keep it all wrapped inside and just be part of the big box. As long as we hide from ourselves we are never fully able to reach our dharma, which is our real reason for being here. In relationships we don't need another person to complete us- we already are perfectly complete, we just have to open our heart.  And that relationship with the self is by far the best , much like that chocolate covered cherry. And when you understand and love yourself for who you are, imperfections and all it enables you to connect and deepen your relationship with others.
So what are you waiting for......unwrap the box!

The Onion

If you are a fan of the animated movie genre, you most likely have encountered "Shrek", a hilarious "kid" movie with many adult nuances. Shrek, our hero, is a  wonderful, apparently one level being-an ogre that dwells in the swamp. With an ogre you get what you get, right? Or do you look deeper and see what lies beneath the skin of the onion? But one of the best comments Shrek makes is that "ogres are like onions-there are many layers". Multidimensional, yes, indeed we are all like our green friend, we all have layers-layers placed on us through societal expectation, layers placed to protect that inner heart that perhaps we try to hide, layers of depth of character waiting to unfold.
But when you slice into an onion, the biochemical reaction is that the eyes water. They well up, no doubt about it- unless, of course you are cutting a genetically modified" no tears" onion. (that perfect onion without the accompanying mess is not real-nor is anyone that pretends it is all perfect, we all have some crying to do)No thank you, I will go for the raccoon eyes, thank you very much! But, deep inside the onion is the potential to grow-there is often a green shoot ready to reach out and grow from within. But you need to peel the layers in order for the new onion to sprout. The same applies to the human condition. When you slice through and peel back the layers that we place around our heart, it can be messy-if you cut through the thick skin there are going to be tears. Perhaps a lot, the nose will run, it will be messy! But in that dark, protected center part of the heart, there is that potential for growth, if we just peel back those layers and reveal that tender green. Green is the color of Annahata, or the heart chakra. If we can get through the mess and the tears and reach the green center, we connect with self love, we open to ourselves and that reflects in open heartedness to accepting and loving others just as much as we love and accept ourselves. We become open to life and all its possibilities. It is messy, it is a chore, but some dishes are not the same without the flavor an onion brings, just as  life is so much better when  you  cut through the layers and grow from within.

Open your Arms

We just had the three year anniversary of the Haiti earthquake. The big guns went to aid, but things are still devastated, and help is slow to reach those who need it- I have seen the sadness first hand. First, if you are so inclined, there are some good hands on orginizations that are working on the grass roots level among the people to bring change instead of funds trickling down from the top....look into Partners in Development, Amurt, or Yogakids Bridge of Diamonds if you are so inclined, and if you do-THANK YOU!
Having left the country to practice karma yoga, the yoga of selfless service, I can tell you first hand that it changes lives....to see the faces of the children and to hear the stories of the adults was powerful, and it has changed my perspective and my life profoundly. It seems that there is a lot of buzz over giving money on TV to sponsor someone in the third world,  celebrities championing their cause,  yogis traveling abroad to make a difference, but the reality is this is not for everyone. I want to go back, but right now my eyes are open to the here and now. Driving through Center City looking in the hedgerows next to Vine St. I have seen homeless tents hunkered down in this damp winter. They roll in to Whole Foods to blend in and escape the cold. Some addicted, some mentally ill, and some just victims of circumstance. I have see countless homeless near Logan Square, a very upscale area; a station wagon pulls up to feed them while the elite drink their $5 dollar lattes. This is just wrong on a fundamental level of humanity.  People accept it and look the other way. What if the shoe were on the other foot....how would you feel?  I have recently decided to teach a yoga class at an intensive outpatient drug and alcohol rehab in the shabbier part of north Philly. These women vary in age, size, and willingness to be there, for some it is the end of the road, for others just  the beginning. But for all it is a chance to change, and I hope to be part of that change. I was speaking about taking their power back, and that they are full of "sri"-beauty, abundance, and value and taught them goddess pose, and my heart sang when one of my students truly connected to the posture- she found her beauty in that moment! Her face became light and she was strong and proud, I could see the layers just melt away and no matter what was waiting for her later that day she was in the here and now and it was a joyous moment.  There are beings all around us in dire straits-struggling with  illness, both physical and mental, addiction, poverty, and hunger. All one, we are connected, we need to stepaway from fear of our differences and connect.  We can all do something, even if it is very small, even if it only lasts for a moment  on the local level to bring some change for the greater good.  If we open our arms and reach out we can not only uplift someone else in a positive direction, but manifest that in ourselves by the fruit of our actions.....let us collectively open our minds, our hearts, and our arms to those around us and truly bring about the change we wish to see in the world.
"Lead us from untruth to truth, from darkness to light, from death to rebirth."

One Size Doesn't Fit All

After the indulgences of the holidays, everywhere you look there are promotions for weight loss, detox, and diets. "Try this", "Drink this", "Take this" and find the new you,...it makes you feel like Alice in Wonderland with the potion that can change everything! (...mmm, drink me, one sip will make you smaller...) Yea, right, sell us a bridge and some snake oil while you're at it!
WHOA....put that magic potion down, and don't go off chasing white rabbits my friends-they really don't have the answer!  . My  physical makeup is not your physical makeup, bottom line or we would all be walking around looking like clones-what works for you may not work for me. If anyone tells you a general blanket for holiday detox, step away and go back out of the rabbit hole. As an Ayurvedic Practitioner,  we are taught that each individuals makeup is uniquely different, and we make recommendations and treat each individual to find the best path for them . Ayurveda basically  means "life philosophy". Using this system coupled with yoga brings us to a path for optimum wellness, which would be the ultimate goal. No brainer- who doesn't want to sign up for that?  The three humors ... or laughingly ."hey, what's your dosha baby"..... make up everything-Vata is the element of air and ether, Pitta is the element of fire and water, and Kapha is the element of earth and water .Each has a physically different form. Vata types are light, lean, somewhat erratic,  and have a more delicate constitution, Pitta is a go getter, prone to more temper, and pushes themselves, while Kapha is more solid, heavier, and "laid back". Different people, and different seasons-Vata is primarily autumn; changeable, drying, a windy and cool. Pitta is summer, the fire of the sun, warm and oily. Kapha is winter into early spring, wet, muddy,  lethargic at times. What works for a Vata person is going to have a different effect on a Kapha. A Vata person doing Vata things( like eating cold uncooked food and over exercising) in the fall is going become out of balance. Doing things that aggravate Kapha  ( sitting on the couch and eating cold phlegm increasing ice cream before bed ! )in the winter is going to slow down a Kapha. Like increases like, opposites cure, and there are subtle and numerous layers and applications.  Seasonal change effects each in a certain way, and diet and self care  needs to change accordingly. By finding your own unique makeup, you can find the program that fits YOU, not everyone around you,  and  bring you into a perfect state of balance. By  utilizing the science of Ayurveda, you can find the path for you...... one size most certainly doesn't fit all! 

Expect the Unexpected

Expectations. We all have them, we expect things to happen the way WE expect them to. Period.  Society has expectations, we have them for others, we have them for ourselves. But when that doesn't occur, we get the big let down, whether we let ourselves, someone else down or fall short of others expectation. Then BAM, we are questioning why  and beating ourselves up, becoming perhaps depressed, or closing ourselves off from others to hide those feelings. of inadequacy.  At this time of year, more than any other there is a myriad of expectation, and it brings stuff up in us. Especially if you see what the media portrays to us....(psst, I will tell you a secret-no I didn't get the Lexus with the big red bow under my Christmas tree, either!)
We can change our perspective, turn away from what is presented- an illusion, or "maya" from the yogic standpoint.  It clouds our judgement and makes us seek what is not real, perhaps just to meet the bar .Try to  remember all that glitters is not gold. When you let go of expectation, and just allow yourself to be open to a sense of gratitude for every moment life takes on a new meaning.
So many right now are struggling, we have had weather extremes that have wrought havoc, tragedies where precious lives have been lost, we need to see that each day is to be savored, not expected. By expecting the unexpected it can bring us to seeing every moment as a precious gift. Getting out on a brisk morning and really seeing the beauty of a sun rise, being in the moment with someone you care for, truly just breathing fully....these are the things that  and actually listening, keep us in the moment and can bring us gratitude and true joy- it opens the heart. Don't go to the place of inadequacy, know that everything you need to expect of yourself is contained right there, within you, by being open to the unexpected joys of life.

Falling leaves

Here on the east coast, autumn is beginning to show her lovely face. She brings with her change. Children go back to school, the cooler mornings bring changing wardrobe needs.....hmm, when do we give up the flip flops? Pumpkin flavored everything is beginning to show up, and that extra blanket at night feels oh so snuggly. I was enjoying my snuggly blanket yesterday morning, not planning on moving, relaxing and studying on my couch when i got a message from a friend, they weren't well and could I cover their class. Damn. Ok. Change in plans, acceptance....Fifteen minutes later I was on the way out my door, no idea what my bhavana, or for those of you unfamiliar with "yoga speak", my intention for class was going to be. Looked down, and there was a brilliant scarlet leaf with yellow veins running through it at my feet. Ahhh, thank you universe.... for the grace of planting the seed of an idea. Made it on time, and shared the experience of a lovely class with a lovely group. Beautiful day out, and decided to go with the wind  sincethe plans for the day changed and let it take me for one last hurrah and drove myself down to the beach.  Catch some sun and study  the copius amount of material I have for homework.( I am back in school once again to become an Ayurvedic practitioner, and yes, there is ALOT!) On the way, noticed so many little groups of leaves changing, beautiful scarlet is the predominent color, signs of the change to come. The beach was lovely, much less crowded. The water was different, much bluer, and the waves were large. Alot of surfers enjoying the sets that rolled in one after another.Walking down the beach and really enjoying the sun, sand, and sky, I hear my name and start....( I am very good at getting lost in myself!) it was said friend!  Funny how things go if we just  allow ourselves to take change, whether big or small, at face value ...accept it, meet it with grace, and let things flow seemlessly.